Taming the odd women behavior

by: Monica Dawn Palad

Admit it. We tend to make matters difficult to understand for men at certain times. One day, you drive your sweetie away from you because you don’t want to be called or texted then be overly-sensitive the next day when he just replied a two-syllable word without any emoticon. This drives us to our constant paranoia throughout the day. Ms. Lalaine Lachica, guidance counsellor of the Faculty of Arts and Letters from the University of Santo Tomas explains the psychology of weird and sometimes funny female behaviour.
Forever Paranoia

You are walking around the school corridor when you saw your boyfriend with another girl. You know that the girl is his classmate and come to think of it, they are inches apart walking and it looks like they are just talking, period. This drives you crazy. You stalk them, check their glances to each other, followed them again, saw them going back to their classroom, check his Friendster profile for possible infidelity evidences from that girl, yet you found nothing.  ing if that girl is the “other woman” of your guy. You can’t hold on to your paranoia. The next day, you confronted him insisting that there’s something going on between them when the truth is, there’s really none. This will lead to a major problem in your relationship.

You are walking around the school corridor when you saw your boyfriend with another girl. You know that the girl is his classmate and come to think of it, they are inches apart walking and it looks like they are just talking, period. This drives you crazy. You stalk them, check their glances to each other, followed them again, saw them going back to their classroom, check his Friendster profile for possible infidelity evidences from that girl, yet you found nothing.  ing if that girl is the “other woman” of your guy. You can’t hold on to your paranoia. The next day, you confronted him insisting that there’s something going on between them when the truth is, there’s really none. This will lead to a major problem in your relationship.

“The needs of men and women are different,” says Ms. Lachica. “Women need security in their relationship while men need to be trusted.” Then what drives the female paranoia? “In our society, generally, it is a common impression that men tend to cheat more. From this common impression comes the fear of the women and if the needs of the women are not satisfied (security), insecurities will take place.

Dissecting words
“I hate it when he answers in two-syllable word when we talk,” says Angela 21. “I hate it when he just responds in a plain ‘OK’, ‘Oo’, ‘Hindi’. It’s better if he’ll talk more. “Females are more details-driven and expressive than males. We can talk for an hour about a particular topic when in fact, if men will talk about the same topic, they can discuss that in short number of sentences. “When we talk, emotions are involved,” says Lachica. “Males talk in one-liner sentences because they are more reserved.”

Princess Mania
You find your way out of floods and jeepney hikes, but you demand your guy to kill the cockroach in front of you the next day. Surely, your prince charming might get a little puzzled on this weird and funny behaviour. “This is the female’s way of getting attention and this is a manifestation of their needs,” says Lachica. “Our needs to be protected, nurtured, and secured are one of our characterizations when it comes to love. This helpless act becomes our avenue to our guy to express his love.

“She’ll always ask me if she’s fat or if my seatmate is prettier than her,” says Jojo, 19. “Of course, I say yes. Totoo naman eh. But she won’t believe me. I don’t know what she wants to hear.” Sometimes, we ask those questions for a little reassurance. The questions we ask from them are manifestations of our insecurity. “It is important for us to know how we look like to our partner.” Explains Lachica.

Question Feud
“She’ll always ask me if she’s fat or if my seatmate is prettier than her,” says Jojo, 19. “Of course, I say yes. Totoo naman eh. But she won’t believe me. I don’t know what she wants to hear.” Sometimes, we ask those questions for a little reassurance. The questions we ask from them are manifestations of our insecurity. “It is important for us to know how we look like to our partner.” Explains Lachica.

Do you notice something new about me today?
You get a haircut and you ask your guy this question. He answered incorrectly and you become fuming mad because of it. “The reason why we do it is to check if you pay attention, just that,” says Nachi, 18. “We just want you to take notice of the little things we try on ourselves.

Read my mind
You had a major tampo to your guy because he left you waiting last night for his call. The next day, you turned from the 500 words per minute girl to a low down 2 words per minute. They ask us if we are okay and we say “Yes, I’m okay…” but actions communicate otherwise. He goes on talking about random thoughts and you are feeling irritated by him because he didn’t read your mind.

“For men, black is black and white is white. When you say that you are okay then he’ll think that you are okay,” says Lachica. “Women partly want the guy to figure out what’s going on with them.”

Jealous or Expressive?
You talk about your crushes to your guy to see if he would get jealous but you didn’t see any sign. When he mentions another girl to you, it drives you mad. Are women more jealous-driven than men?   

“It doesn’t necessarily mean that women are more jealous than men,” says Lachica, “men are actually more jealous than women. It’s just that women are more expressive while men cave in their jealousy. For them, jealousy will lessen their macho figure.”

Shopaholic Baby
We go around the mall to look for a black pouch bag that would complement our white dress. We go around one shop after the next and still find nothing that we like. For our guy, all the black pouches in the shops look the same. “Because girls are details-driven, we notice the difference among the bags and shoes even when they look similar,” says Lachica. This might be the reason why females take a longer time in shopping than men.

Why women go to comfort rooms in groups
“It’s a form of social activity for us. Along the way, we talk and when we’re in front of the mirror, we still talk, then we talk again,” says Lachica.

Mam Lachica’s advice to females
These girly behaviours are sometimes cute among males, but if it becomes overly abused, it could lead to major problems between the two of you. Mam Lachica shares some solid advice on what female should do to avoid major hindrances.
    

“We should know how to handle our emotions and be realistic about it. We must evaluate if we are over-analyzing, over-reacting, and too emotional.”