When Maria Clara dates a Maria Clara

by: Lian Nami Buan

If you spend more time admiring your girl friends than admiring yourself in the mirror, something must be wrong.

Psychologists say that one does not have to engage in lesbian relationship to be a lesbian; abnormal sexuality can be determined on sexual preference or fantasy orientation. Girls like boys – if a girl starts to like a girl, she starts becoming a lesbian.

It’s unfortunate for Filipinas that the Philippines can be so male-centric. If women places only second to men, then that makes lesbians on the bottom of the hierarchy behind gay men.

In the Philippines, women are seen in relation to men. Once upon a time there was Maria Clara who took the seat of woman prowess through Crisostomo Ibarra, and filipinos expect to see the same thing happen to women today. Once a male is dissociated to a female, a conflict begins to appear. That is why lesbian acceptance is limited to individuality, it is their commitment to a lesbian relationship that resentment from the people grows more tense.

Where media forms the mentality of its viewers, lesbians are underrated as compared to gay men. Philippine media is friendlier to gay men than lesbians; apparent in the number of prominent gay personalities in the country. Through subtle gender discrimination, media has  made gay men more “normal” than lesbian.

But this unaccepting view on abnormal sexuality may appear less significant in the metro than in the provinces. Manila seemed to have tolerated lesbianism; it is, in fact, becoming to be an unspoken trend.

The most popular schools in Manila are the exclusive schools. Among the known all-girl schools are St. Theresa’s College (STC), St. Scholastica’s College, Miriam College, St. Paul College, and Assumption College. If lesbians are looked down at in the provinces, in these schools, they are admired.

“In exclusive schools, there is no abnormal sexuality,” Apple Ocampo, a graduate from STC, said, “and if there is, be proud that you are (abnormal).”

Lesbians subsitute for the guy heartthrob and girls would fight over them to be linked to their arms, sometimes, if only to share the popularity.

“Some would prowl on the popularity, but others just wants to be in them (lesbian relationships),” Ocampo said. The oddity of liking fellow girls is never the issue in these schools; they dont create a difference between liking boys and liking girls. Maybe they just don’t bother.

Into Lesbians are pink and blue. Pink lesbians are the effeminate ones; they could either go for boys or blue lesbians. Blue lesbians are the butch ones, those that claim themselves absolute males; they are only interested with pink lesbians. But ofcourse they are interested in straight girls too, but once straight girls return the feeling, they are not straight anymore.

“No matter what you say, when you date a lesbian, you are a lesbian,” Ocampo said. She calls herself a pink lesbian after committing to a relationship with a blue lesbian.

Before a lesbian could reach self acceptance, she will go through self denial. The most convenient way of treating denial is to date men.

They date men for hope. For hope that maybe they’re just confused, maybe they are really straight. And then they won’t have to face family rejection or societal suicide.

Sometimes, family members even instigate rape on lesbian relatives, thinking that it can cure them into realizing that lesbianism bites real hard. Mere rape threats can be considered a form of control over lesbians.

To resolve the cultural ostracizing of lesbians, many gay and lesbian human rights commission has moved that the anti-discrimination bill that seeks to guarantee protection of the rights of LGBT persons to education, employment, housing, and access to public services, among other rights be passed into law.

But to much luck, the Philippine Senate apparently ignored the alarm. So did the Catholic Church, as it always had. Pope Benedict XVI said that there will be no major alteration or addition in the policy of the Church hierarchy. This unchanging status quo would, in the end, continue condoning the discrimation on LGBT (Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals, Transexuals) persons.

Today could probably start the introduction of an alternative Maria Clara, one that dates another Maria Clara and still have the equal chance of reaching emotional, spiritual and societal success like the rest of us.